What Does the Bible Say About Divorce and Remarriage?
Divorce is wrong, except in cases of affairs, abandonment and abuse. Remarriage should only happen after a biblical divorce. But once you're married, that marriage is legitimate, so you shouldn't get divorced again.
Divorce is wrong, except in cases of affairs, abandonment and abuse. Remarriage should only happen after a biblical divorce. But once you're married, that marriage is legitimate, so you shouldn't get divorced again.
If you're asking this question, there's a good chance it isn't theoretical. Maybe your marriage is hurting right now, or you've already been through a divorce and you're wondering where you stand with God. I'm not going to pretend this is simple, and I'm not here to heap shame on anybody. Divorce isn't the unforgivable sin. Let's look at what God actually says.
What the Bible says
1. God's design is for life. When the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus on divorce, He went all the way back to Genesis: "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6 ESV). God says through Malachi, "For I hate divorce!" (Malachi 2:16 NLT). Notice God hates divorce, not divorced people. He hates it because of what it does to the people He loves.
2. God allows divorce when the covenant has been broken. Jesus said Moses permitted divorce "because of your hardness of heart… but from the beginning it was not so" (Matthew 19:8 ESV). Then He named an exception: "whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9 ESV). An affair breaks the covenant. Paul adds a second one: "If the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved" (1 Corinthians 7:15 ESV). Abandonment breaks the covenant too.
3. Abuse breaks the covenant. I'll be honest: there isn't a verse that says "abuse" in a list of reasons for divorce. But marriage is a covenant where a husband is called to love his wife "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" and to nourish and cherish her (Ephesians 5:25, 29 ESV). Even the Old Testament law freed a wife whose husband refused her basic care (Exodus 21:10–11). Someone who abuses their spouse has abandoned that covenant just as surely as someone who walks out the door. God never asks anyone to stay in danger.
4. Remarriage follows a biblical divorce. Jesus' words in Matthew 19:9 assume that when a divorce happens for the wrong reasons, remarriage becomes adultery. And Paul says that a believer who separates for other reasons should "remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband" (1 Corinthians 7:11 ESV).
5. A new marriage is a real marriage. When Jesus talked with the woman at the well, He said, "You have had five husbands" (John 4:18 ESV). He didn't say "five men you thought were husbands." The law of Moses even treated a second marriage as so real that the first husband couldn't take her back (Deuteronomy 24:1–4). So if you're remarried, even if it started the wrong way, don't try to fix past sin by creating a new one. Repent of what needs repenting, receive God's forgiveness and honor the marriage you're in.
You might be thinking…
"We're just not happy anymore." I get it, and I'm sorry. But unhappiness isn't on the list. Most marriages go through seasons that feel dead. Many of those couples, with help, come out the other side stronger. Before you quit, fight for it: get counseling, bring in a pastor and get honest.
"I got divorced for the wrong reasons. Am I disqualified?" No. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins" (1 John 1:9 ESV). Divorce isn't beyond the reach of the cross. Own it, confess it, make right what you can, and move forward in grace.
"My spouse had an affair. Do I have to divorce them?" No. The exception gives you permission, not a command. I've seen God restore marriages after affairs. Forgiveness is required; reconciliation takes two people and real repentance.
Next step
If your marriage is struggling, don't wait until it's over to ask for help. Reach out to a pastor or a Christian counselor this week. If you're in danger, get safe first; call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
Related questions
Genesis 2:24; Malachi 2:16; Matthew 19:3–9; 1 Corinthians 7:10–15; Ephesians 5:25–29; Exodus 21:10–11; Deuteronomy 24:1–4; John 4:16–18; 1 John 1:9