What Is God’s Design for Sex and Marriage?

Let’s define God’s design for sex and marriage.

God designed sex to be enjoyed in the context and confines of marriage. According to God’s plan, marriage was always between one man and one woman for life. Not only is all sexual activity to be reserved for marriage, but the married couple is to remain faithful to their spouse for life, choosing not to lust after other people and enjoying sexual intimacy in a committed, loving, and lifelong covenant relationship. As Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (ESV). (See also Proverbs 5:18–19; Matthew 19:4–6; 1 Corinthians 6:18–20; 7:2–5; Ephesians 5:31–33; 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5; Hebrews 13:4.)

In a society that celebrates sexual liberation, it got me thinking… What would change in our world if everyone followed God’s design for sex and marriage? The answer is way more shocking than you may realize.

What changes in a world that follows God’s design for sex and marriage?

• Rape, molestation, and all sexual crimes would end. There would be no need for a #MeToo campaign, and entire divisions of police departments could close.

• The porn industry would shut down, and porn addiction would end. This would free up billions of dollars annually to be used in other areas of the economy.

• Every strip club would close, prostitution would cease, and pimps would no longer abuse and exploit women.

• Human trafficking would stop, and those trapped in sexual slavery could be reunited with their loved ones.

• STDs would almost vanish overnight, lowering overall healthcare costs.

• Adultery would stop destroying marriages, and many families would be spared the heartbreak of divorce.

• A child would rarely be born into a household without both parents, so the need for fostering and adoption would almost vanish.

• There would be significantly fewer unwanted pregnancies and fewer abortions so that many abortion clinics would close.

While the above list isn’t exhaustive, just the few things listed would completely change the world as we know it!

Why did God design it this way?

I've always loved fire. In my first house we had a fireplace, and on cold nights it was relaxing, warm and romantic. Move that same fire fifteen feet into the middle of the living room, and it isn't romantic anymore. It's a 911 call. Same fire, same heat, wrong context. That's sex. God made it for our pleasure and for procreation. It isn't dirty. In marriage it makes two people one (Genesis 2:24), it brings children into a family built to raise them, and it paints a picture of how Christ loves His church (Ephesians 5:31–32).

How far is too far?

That question usually reveals the problem. It's like asking my wife, "Can I flirt with other women and still be married? What about late-night texts?" The goal isn't to get as close to the line as possible without ending up in divorce court. The goal is a thriving marriage. The question isn't "Can I do this and still be a Christian?" It's "Is this pulling me toward Jesus or away from Him?"

What if I've already blown it?

You're not damaged goods. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9 ESV). Starting today, you can choose purity. Don't let the enemy remind you of something God has forgotten.

Call me old school if you want to, but the wisdom in God’s design is obvious. Living the way He wants us to leads to a healthier society—a society with less pain and brokenness. Maybe God isn’t after our fun, but rather, He cares about our flourishing.