What Is Integrity, and How Do I Build It?
Integrity is being consistent no matter where you are or who you're around. It's being the same person in private that you are in public.
Integrity is being consistent no matter where you are or who you're around. It's being the same person in private that you are in public.
Most of us have a version of ourselves we show at church and another one that comes out at home or online. If that gap bothers you, good. That's the Holy Spirit inviting you to be whole. It's exhausting to be one way in public and another in private.
What the Bible says
1. Integrity means whole. In math, a whole number is called an integer. Nothing is missing; it is totally complete. To have integrity means to be whole and sound. "There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil" (Job 1:1 ESV). Character keeps you in the room that your giftedness opened the door to. As Larry Stockstill puts it, "Integrity is the currency of influence."
2. Fear God. Fearing God is not about being afraid of Him punishing you; it's about respecting and honoring Him. When Potiphar's wife tried to seduce Joseph, he said, "How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?" (Genesis 39:9 ESV). When you do what's right when no one is looking, it pleases and honors God.
3. Be real. God chose you as you are, not the version of you that you try to be. "Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves" (Romans 12:3 NLT). When you mess up, own it. The quickest way to get back on track is confession.
4. Watch your mouth. "The tongue is a flame of fire" (James 3:6 NLT). If they asked you not to share it, don't. Better yet, unless they gave you permission to share it, don't. The easiest way not to stress about what you said is to always tell the truth.
5. Set up guardrails. The easiest way not to sin is to not be in a situation to sin. "Pride goes before destruction" (Proverbs 16:18 ESV). This includes internet filters, sharing passwords with your spouse and being careful with what you watch. I'm not perfect, but I am careful.
You might be thinking…
"I've already blown it. Can I get my integrity back?" Yes, but it takes time. Trust leaves quickly and comes back slowly. Confess, make it right where you can, and then be consistent.
"Isn't everybody a little fake?" Maybe. But success is to be the most respected and most loved by those who know you best.
Next step
Ask yourself: if others knew what you were doing, would you be fine with them finding out? Pick one guardrail to set up this week and tell someone you trust.
Related questions
Job 1:1; Genesis 39:7–12; Romans 12:3; James 3:5–10; Proverbs 10:9; Proverbs 16:18; 1 Corinthians 10:13