How Do I Grieve as a Christian?
You grieve honestly, and you grieve with hope. Christians are not told to skip grief. We are told we don't grieve like people who have no hope.
You grieve honestly, and you grieve with hope. Christians are not told to skip grief. We are told we don't grieve like people who have no hope.
If you've lost someone, I'm so sorry. Maybe people have told you they're "in a better place" and you just want to scream. Maybe you feel guilty for being this sad when you're supposed to have faith. Tears are not a lack of faith.
What the Bible says
1. Jesus wept. Standing at Lazarus' tomb, knowing He was about to raise him, "Jesus wept" (John 11:35 ESV). If Jesus grieved, you're allowed to grieve.
2. Grief with hope is still grief. Scripture doesn't say "don't grieve." It tells us we can grieve differently, though. "We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13 ESV).
3. God is close in it. About a third of the Psalms are laments. God gave us words for our worst days. "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18 ESV).
4. You don't have to do it alone. The church is meant to carry each other's burdens (Galatians 6:2). "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15 ESV).
5. Death doesn't get the last word. "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more" (Revelation 21:4 ESV). One day, grief itself will be gone.
You might be thinking…
"Shouldn't I be over this by now?" Grief doesn't follow a schedule. It comes in waves, sometimes years later. That's normal. If it's keeping you from functioning, a grief counselor or support group can help, and that's not a lack of faith.
"I'm angry at God." Tell Him. Job did. David did. Martha told Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died" (John 11:21 ESV). Jesus didn't rebuke her. He stayed with her.
Next step
Read Psalm 13 out loud. It goes from "How long, O LORD?" to "I have trusted in your steadfast love." You might not get to the end today. That's OK. Then text one friend and tell them how you're really doing.
Related questions
John 11:17–44; 1 Thessalonians 4:13–18; Psalm 34:18; Psalm 13; Romans 12:15; Galatians 6:2; Revelation 21:3–5